March 2, 2008

"Here Is Your Son, Here Is Your Mother"

John 19: 25- 27 

In December 1984 firefighters were evacuating residents from a burning Chicago apartment complex.  Sadly, they arrived at one of the apartments too late.  In the kitchen they found the bodies of a mother and her five children.  One of firefighters commented that in his opinion she probably could have escaped with one or two of her children, but instead chose to remain with them all until help arrived.  He summed up his opinion this way, "There are times when you just don't leave those you love.  Even though it cost her life and the lives of two of her children, she couldn't leave her other three to suffer and die alone.  I am sure that those of us who are moms and dads here this morning can understand.

Undoubtedly, it was a similar type of motherly love that kept Jesus' mother Mary standing helplessly below his cross.  There was nothing she could do.  She couldn't even touch him. But, she had to be there.  Several of Jesus' relatives and friends, who were close to him and his mother were also there: two other Mary's, one Jesus' aunt on his dad's side, who was also James and John's mother, and the other, Mary Magdalene; John also mentions Mary's sister, possible the one Mark calls Salome; Mark also adds that there were many others that he doesn't name.  And, of course, John who wrote this gospel was also among them.  He refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved."   Like Jesus' mother, these friends knew they had to be there. Imagine the scene in your mind:  Jesus on the cross and standing below him his mother and this circle of relatives and friends.

Now, you would expect that even in pain, Jesus would have been moved by this show of support and, if he could, he would try to say something comforting to those family members and friends.   I can remember watching a saintly gentleman from my previous church pass away.  His family surrounded his bed.  Struggling to speak, he said his goodbyes and they hugged him.  Shortly after that he slipped into a coma and died.  But, that's not the picture we get here, is it?  Instead, John records Jesus saying,

"Dear woman, here is your son," and to the disciple, "Here is your mother."

We should note that our NIV translation softens Jesus statement a bit.  The original Greek simply says,

"Woman, here is your son."

The reason that those translating the NIV added the word "dear" was so that readers would not get the idea that Jesus was being disrespectful to his mother.  Certainly he wasn't. 

In that culture addressing a woman as "woman" would be similar to what we do today when we say "ma'am" or "madam" or "misses."   That's not disrespectful.  Yet, it is important to note that he did not address her address her as "mother" either.  Call me old fashioned, but I really don't want my daughters to address me as sir, or Mr. Dykstra, or even Pastor Dave; I want them to call me dad or papa.  Things were not so different back then.  The way Jesus addressed Mary was not the normal way that son would address his mother in that culture. Even back then it would have been viewed as a little cold and formal and, depending on the circumstances, unloving.

Of course, we know that Jesus, as one who could not sin, was not being unloving to his mother, nor was he dishonoring her. He perfectly obeyed God's law and honored is father and mother.  So we can surmise that he must have had a reason-a loving reason for what he said.  Clearly he did.  And that reason can be summarized by two words, "separation" and "provision."

First, separation:  Jesus needed to separate his mother from himself.  And he needed to do that for her sake. He needs to do that so that instead of sorrow, she might know salvation.  As long as she simply knew Jesus as her beloved son, she would only find sorrow in his cross.  His suffering would become her suffering; his pain, her pain.  The injustice done to him would be an injustice to her.  After all, she would be the one left behind to live with what Pilate and the Jewish leaders had done. 

I remember a man whose father was shot and killed by a drug addict, who was attempting to rob to pay for another fix.  The man was a wonderful Christian leader.  But, years later he continued to struggle with his dark bitter thoughts towards his father's murderer.  Certainly such thoughts could also have plagued Mary's psyche. And Good Friday would become "Evil Friday," "Tragic Friday," "Cruel Friday" for her.

The history of the church has been terribly marred by our unloving attitude towards Jewish people.  It wasn't too long ago when church going Christians would refer to them as "Kike's" or "Christ-killers."  And maybe some today continue to harbor such hateful sinful attitudes.  Sisters and brothers this should not be!  It should not be, because it is unloving to people whom God loves.  And that is bad and evil enough.  But it is also wrong and dangerous, because it demonstrates an attitude toward Jesus, which could prevent someone from knowing salvation.  In order for us to be saved, Jesus cannot our dead hero; he must be our living Savior and Lord.  It was no different for Jesus mother Mary.  For her to know salvation, Jesus must cease to be her Son and must become her Savior and Lord.

And for Jesus to be Mary's Savior and Lord and our Savior and Lord, she had to know and we must know that it was our sins that nailed him to that cross.  It was because of you and me that he died.  And we must bow before him not as those who point our self-righteous fingers at others, but as those who are truly sorry for our own sins.  For this reason, Jesus, in love, separated himself from his mother.  "No longer consider me your son-for here he is.  And he points to John.

  But separation is only half of what Jesus in love did for Mary.  He also made provision for her.  He said to John, "Here is your mother."   Most Biblical historians think that Joseph had died some years before this.  So, as the oldest son, whose father had died, Jesus was expected to take special responsibility for his widowed mother.  While this even true to an extent in our day; it certainly was true for that culture and time.  Under the Law of Moses as found in Deuteronomy 21 when a man died his oldest son was inherit his possessions and would be the leader of his household.  One important aspect of leading the household was to care for the other members of the family.  In Mark 7 Jesus made it clear to the Pharisees that he understood Moses' law in that way.  Jesus took his responsibility seriously, even as he suffered on the cross.  And that's an important reason why he gave John responsibility to care for her.

As Christians today we also have responsibility to care for our aging parents.  Paul says bluntly in 1 Timothy 5: 8,

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

If you read the context, you would note that he is especially speaking about parents and grandparents. 

I realize that we often have the picture of Jesus, during the period of his earthly ministry, as one who walked from town to town teaching and ministering to people.  And that is certainly the picture that we find in all four gospels.  But we should not forget that these gospels only tell us what is necessary for us to know for our salvation.  These words from the cross give us a glimpse into a part of Jesus' life not usually mentioned by the gospel writers.  As one who loved perfectly and obeyed God's law perfectly, Jesus undoubtedly honored his parents. We must not forget the words of Luke 2: 51, which describes the attitude of the teenage Jesus to his mom and dad,

⁵¹Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.

 It is safe to assume that also as an adult he took his responsibility toward his mother seriously.  And he expects us to do the same.

Now, I realize that today we have different means of providing for aging parents today.  We have social security and nursing homes, assisted living centers, respite care.  There's nothing wrong with all of this. But, having such things does not take away a son or daughter's responsibility to their elderly parent.  My wife, who has worked in nursing homes much of her career, once told me that there is one factor that is often true for nursing home residents who are receiving poor nursing care.  That is that their children seldom visit them.  Children who visit know whether or not their parents are receiving proper care and they advocate for their parents within nursing homes.  There just like anywhere else squeaky wheels often get the grease.

Having said all that, it is important to note that Jesus did not choose his natural brothers for this important task.  We don't know whether or not they were there at the cross.  One thing we do know: is that John 7:5 quotes the Jewish leaders as saying that Jesus' brothers did not believe in him.  Most Christian historians take this as evidence that they did not believe in Jesus until after he arose from the dead.  Jesus could not his mother into the care of those who did not believe.  So, he chose John.  Some Bible historians think that John was Jesus cousin. We cannot be certain of that.  But, we do know how this man described himself, as the "disciple whom Jesus loved."  A disciple is a follower.  John was one who followed Jesus and who was loved by him. 

Jesus selected that beloved follower to care for his mother.  He could provide her what Jesus' brothers couldn't.  Not only could he care for her physical needs, he could also care for her grieving spirit.  He could give her a home where she could make the transition from knowing Jesus as her son to knowing him as her Savior and Lord. 

Brothers and sisters, as we think about what Jesus asked John to do we would do well to consider his words that are recorded in Matthew 12: 48,

"Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."

A few moments ago we sang, "I'm So Glad I'm a Part of the Family of God."  To belong to Jesus is to be part of his family.  As we saying, family members are responsible for each other, they must be there each other, and they must care for each other. 

I'll never forget the evening I was welcomed as a student pastor at the Christian Reformed Church in Raymond, MN.  It was the first Sunday evening I was there.  After the evening service we went downstairs for lunch and fellowship.  We all talking and laughing, when suddenly everyone became very quiet.  A 50 year-old man was on the floor.  He was the husband of the bulletin secretary.  A trained EMT from the church was attempting CPR.  A short time later, the ambulance arrived to take the man to the hospital.  After the ambulance left, we all held hands and said a prayer.  I remember asking the elders and deacons which of them would be willing to go the hospital with me.  Every elder and deacon wanted to go.  Shortly after we arrived, the doctor came into the waiting room with the news that he was gone.  I'll never forget that night-how the entire church council ministered to the grieving family.  The deacons were on the phone calling family members who weren't there.  The elders were in the room with me embracing and praying with those who were. 

As we think our responsibilities as those who are part of the family of God, let us also consider the words of John 14: 15 and following where Jesus makes a promise to his disciples,

If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Jesus promises his disciple that even after has gone to heaven to be with his Father, he will never leaven them or forsake them.  He continues to be with them in and through the Holy Spirit.    Acts 1: 4- 5 records that after Jesus arose from the dead and just before he went to heaven that he told his disciples. "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about.  For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."

The disciples obeyed him.  Acts 1: 17 records this about those who waited with them,

They (Jesus' disciples) all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.

  The, in the next chapter we read what happened during one of those times when they were together,

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ²Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Now think about these events in the context of Jesus promise that through the Holy Spirit, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."  By entrusting Mary to John, Jesus not only ensured that she would be cared for physically and spiritually, he also ensured that she would always know his presence with her.  For there among his people, he lives in and through his Holy Spirit.

There are many pictures in the Bible about what it means to be church.  Paul gives one important picture in 1 Corinthians 12.  If you have your Bibles open lets read it responsively, beginning with verse 14, through verse 27,

¹⁴Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. ¹⁵If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁶And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁷If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

²¹The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" ²²On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

²⁷Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

There are many hurting mothers, struggling brothers, troubled sisters among us trying to see Jesus in reality of their lives. He has entrusted the beloved members of his family to us that we might show them where he is.   Are they finding him here at Faith Community?  Our answer cannot be found merely in our words; it must be found in what we do.  Amen.